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”Waspish

Gluttony on the 08:30 to York

I am writing today about the unpleasant subject of gluttony. Now I’d like to reassure you that this is not the first in a potentially long-winded, perhaps pompous and certainly moralising in tone series of posts based on the seven deadly sins. No, rather it is a necessity based on something I have just witnessed with my own eyes and which I feel compelled to comment upon. I am hoping that the mechanics of putting the experience into words will in some way prove cathartic.

The other morning I had to take a locomotive to visit my racehorse trainer in York, I won’t trouble you with the minutiae but suffice to say the allegations of doping were completely unfounded, groundless and wholly without merit and have now been proven so to be. So far so humdrum I hear you thinking (I should make it clear I use that term figuratively as I can in no way hear your thoughts, that would be horrifyingly worrisome not only for you but likewise I would imagine for myself).

Well on the journey inbound to York I was seated in the first class compartment (ticketed of course not just trying my luck I should make clear) when what can only be described as a colossal man boarded the train with some difficulty at Peterborough. He eventually managed to seat himself across the aisle from me in the otherwise empty carriage, and I am ashamed to say I was transfixed. I kept telling myself not to stare as I felt my eyes keep wandering away from the Telegraph and over towards his not insubstantial frame.

I believe the medical term is “morbidly obese” which I suppose, in layman’s terms, means “deathly fat” and here right alongside me was the medical dictionary definition. I have to say that it was actually fascinating. I just sat there as we hurtled along the tracks wondering how on earth someone gets to become so large. I mean there is a time in any man’s life when he might catch sight of himself and is taken by surprise at a mild overhang around the waist and jowls around the face, usually after returning from an extended vacation when the once comfortable britches are now a little snugger than is welcoming. Yet it is at that precise moment where most of us will declare that something should be done and spend the next 2 weeks consuming nothing but boiled eggs until everything is back where it should be and general comfort ensues. However the morbidly obese sail right on through the “oh I think I need to lose a little weight” and never look back until they are bed bound and a health-carer has to clean beneath their huge, cumbersome flaps of skin to avoid infection.

I say this not to be unkind but rather in recognition that there must be something more going on here than sheer gluttony. I sat and watched this poor man consume 12 ring doughnuts (the type one might see at a fairground, doughy and very sugary). One after the other was popped into his welcoming mouth and each of his fingers was licked clean with a slurping noise after each of doughnuts disappeared. Then when the bag was empty, he produced a large bottle of Coca-Cola and drank with gusto straight from the top.

I am a well-travelled gentleman and have seen many things in my life and quite a few I would rather forget, but I have never, ever seen anything quite like this. I do wonder what will become of him and find myself feeling quite a lot of pity for his predicament but 12 ring doughnuts in one sitting? Really quite, quite astonishing.


Do not allow yourself to become like that poor man on the 08:30 to York. Always take heed of what your body may be telling you at all times. If you find that your once loose fitting clothes are becoming a little snug in places, it is time to reassess. Examine what you are consuming and when then take a look at how much alcohol you are drinking and then assess how much exercise you are actually doing.

If, like me, you are chained to a desk then make a conscious effort to get up and move around and make a commitment to exercise regularly. These are not earth moving changes, can be easily incorporated into your life and will make a difference for the better.

To help you along the way I have sourced an excellent treadmill by the very good people at York Fitness. The York treadmill will, if you allow it to, give you everything you need to exercise vigorously yet safely in the comfort of your own home or garage.

York Fitness Active 120 Treadmill
  • 1-16km/12% powered incline
  • 120 x 41cm running area
  • 13 workout programs
  • Hand pulse sensors
  • 5" display window with backlight

The York treadmill (Active 120) is a sleek and straightforward exercise treadmill with a speed range from 1 to 16km per hour. This York treadmill is Ideal for the novice and intermediate users alike.

This York treadmill features a 0–12 percent powered incline with direct touch speed and control of the incline. It has an elastic dampened deck, a hand pulse sensor and a full, glorious LCD display. Handy storage compartments complete the perfect home exercise picture.

The York Treadmill (Active 120) features 13 training programs including an all important body fat analyser. The running area measures an entirely adequate 120x41cm and the motor boast 1.25 horsepower. There’s a hydraulic assisted lift and drop, hand-pulse sensors and the aforementioned LCD screen for keeping track of everything going on. The unit has four wheels and is collapsible for easy storage and transportation if necessary.

Get one of these and you will never look back and will enjoy looking forward at your lean physique in the bedroom mirror! Thoroughly recommended.

May the wheels of good fortune follow in the tracks of your aspirations
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Last update on 2018-02-17 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

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